Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Take John 15:5 for instance. If you've ever memorized this verse previously, try to navigate through this verbal mine-field: "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man person remain in me and I in him him/her, he he/she will bear much fruit."
This rote-memory-vs.-newer-version-conundrum mirrors the familiar public Lord's Prayer indecision. When attending a non-native church and the Lord's Prayer is liturgically spoken, the white Christian is always forced to wonder, is it "Forgive us our..."
- "Debts as we forgive our debtors?"
- "Trespasses as those who trespass against us?"
- "Sins as we forgive those who sin against us?"
More than just making Biblical laymenpeople into gender neutral eunuchs, these white Christians have the castrated cajones to turn God into a woman. Using that one reference in Isaiah, this father/mother God is little more than a back-door approach toward women serving in church office- "Hey... if God is father/MOTHER, then maybe it's not such a bad thing for Barb to serve as an Elder."
On the other end of the white Christian spectrum, you have the literalists who not only use the Father symbolism, they literally picture God the Father as a dude: Beard. Flowing robe. Sandals. He's viewed as a really old man floating on a cloud and taking care of things on earth below. These people might even blasphemously refer to their Creator as "The Big Man Upstairs."
Saturday, October 16, 2010
As much as the white Christian loves candy, he isn't about to celebrate the occult in order to satisfy his sweet tooth on October 31st. Besides, there is another holiday falling on the same day as Halloween that is every bit as much fun: Reformation Day.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
After switching from legalism to license, not only do you get to do anything you want without judgment from your fellow believers, you also get to feel a sense of superiority over legalistic Christians. These white Christians quickly transition from being thankful that they aren't like those sinners who watch Jersey Shore and go to the mall on Sundays to thanking God that they're not like those smug pharisees.