Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Corporate prayer is a very serious matter for white Christians. Children are taught from a young age to bow their heads, fold their hands, and close their eyes while praying. However, there is an equally important part of group prayer (particularly before a meal) that parents will not mention, but will certainly model for their children: the prayer voice.
In the same way that people change their inflection when talking to babies, white Christians assume that God also responds better to a certain vocal style. When praying out loud, white Christian fathers typically go up an octave and speak with slow, measured phrases to better please God's ears. Many different prayer voice styles are acceptable, but in no circumstance should a white Christian pray in the same voice that he uses for normal conversation.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Chances are, if you've driven through a white Christian neighborhood, and can find time while driving to look up from text messaging on your cell phone, you've been distracted by a Quasi-Creative Church Road Sign. Some of the messages are quasi-funny. Some are quasi-thought-provoking. Frequently Biblically inaccurate or even blasphemous, almost all messages on quasi-creative church road signs are met not with a bang, but a whimper.
What's the best way to convey the timeless Truth of the inspiried Word of the Lord to an unbelieving world that's flying by at 40 mph? Why, clever word play, of course! This pun-ministry... or "pun-istry," runs deep within white Christian culture. Christian coffe shops like "Holy Grounds Coffee Shop" frequently suffer from the same afliction.
A typical driver/sign interaction goes something like this: "Sign Broke? Message inside?" questions the unassuming passerby. Then, upon achieving the word-play eureka moment, the driver realizes, "Why, that sign's not broke at all- it's an invitation to come to a worship service. Of course!" This realization is followed by a quasi-satisfied "hmm," as the driver continues about their day unchanged.