Saturday, October 30, 2010

#102 Vague Bible Quotes


During conversation among white Christians, throwing out a quote from the Bible is welcome at any time. Regardless of the topic of discussion, a little bit of memorized scripture is always appropriate. While expert-level white Christians will execute their Bible quotation flawlessly, most white Christians are too far removed from Sunday School to be able to cite chapter and verse, or even remember the exact phrasing.

Instead, they will start with "Like the Bible says..." and then offer up something that sounds vaguely familiar and Bible-ish to the other church-going people in the vicinity. These Bible-quoters knows they are mangling the verse, but as long as they can muster at least fifty percent accuracy, the others will nod approvingly.

The Bible is the ultimate authority, so citing scripture is the perfect response to any problem or question raised in conversation with others. A half correct Bible verse has at least some words that are in the Bible, surely this is better than saying something that isn't in the Bible at all.

11 comments:

Terry Lee said...

my favorite "scripture": people who live in glass houses shouldn't be the first to cast stones.

heh heh

Abraham Calvin said...

That and "God helps those who help themselves" - by apostle, er, no wait... Benjamin Franklin.

Belle said...

I've heard, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness," quoted.

ChuckEastNashville said...

2003 I watched a Springfield MO television interview, reporter asks a child psychologist about discipline. Reporter starts with, "The Bible says to spare the rod and spoil the child... "

ChuckEastNashville said...

We know that "On the eighth day God created (insert college alma mater name here) football."

Library Lady said...

What gets me is people who say in reference to the topic of conversation at hand, "Well, all we need to do is look at (insert book/chapter/verse) for our answer," not even bothering to recite the verse(es).

Sheesh.

Abraham Calvin said...

@Library Lady - YES! That is the worst. "Haven't you memorized all the verses I have memorized?"

Igor said...

typical one is "God loves sinner but not the sin" which no where in the bible

Anonymous said...

Actually, a good portion of those quotes, as paraphrased as most of them are, come from the book of 2 Hesitations.

Anonymous said...

What white Christians that use vague and misquoted bible verses most dislike is having anyone point out their error.

badvegan said...

Like the bible says: "Only God can judge me." Tupac 1:10