Saturday, October 16, 2010

#100 Reformation Day

As much as the white Christian loves candy, he isn't about to celebrate the occult in order to satisfy his sweet tooth on October 31st. Besides, there is another holiday falling on the same day as Halloween that is every bit as much fun: Reformation Day.

Children in the public schools celebrate Halloween by making jack-o'-lanterns, eating candy corn, and worshipping ghosts and goblins, presumably (white Christians aren't quite sure what goes on in these public schools, but it's not good). Christian school kids, on the other hand, spend the day coloring pictures of Martin Luther and John Calvin and nailing scotch-taping the 95 Theses to the classroom door.

Some white Christians seek to redeem Halloween by wrapping tracts around the candy they pass out to trick-or-treaters, but the preferred method of claiming Halloween for the kingdom is dressing your kids up as Bible characters. Unfortunately, all Bible character costumes tend to come out the same - just a beard, a robe and a staff. "Hey, nice Abraham costume." "I'm Elijah, you moron."

1 comment:

Luther Zwingli said...

That picture is off the charts awesome! Couldn't be a whiter dude, he's clearly brought this Martin Luther pumpkin to work, and he's clearly proud. This is awesome.