Once a church transitions to contemporary worship, every white Christian faces the solemn responsibility of adopting his or her own designated worship stance.
Worship stances are peculiar things. As much as the white Christian wants to get completely spiritually wrapped up in the worship moment, they can't help but to allow their social inhibitions to get in the way. Whenever white Christians face a dilemma like this, structure is the name of the game. This has lead to the adoption of 6 acceptable designated worship stances. SWCL takes an in-depth look at these 6 favorites:
Stance: The Nothing-But-The-Truth
Technique: One Hand Raised
Details: Simple, elegant, demonstrative- the gold standard of worship stances. The Nothing-But-The-Truth screams, "Yeah, I know that this makes you uncomfortable, but that's your problem... not mine." Interestingly, the NBTT can be a "gateway stance." Once white Christians take the plunge into raising one hand, soon they will be experimenting with harder stances. The NBTT is the go-to stance for white Christians.
Stance: The Touchdown Jesus
Technique: Both Hands Raised
Details: If one raised hand is good, it stands to reason that two raised hands is better. Frankly, if human beings could evolve a third arm, white Christians would experiment with raising this arm as well. Only expert level white Christians should attempt this bold proclamation that combines spiritual emotionalism with "look at me" attention grabbing gestures. Touchdown Jesus stance is only for the sure.
Stance: The Self-Hug
Details: Warm, emotionally intimate, and humble. Perhaps best of all for the social-conscious, this stance goes on virtually undetected by those in close proximity. For single-and-ready-to-mingle white Christians, anything that draws other's eyes to an embrace of your body can't possibly be a bad thing.
Stance: The Gratitude
Technique: Palms Upheld
Details: Where other hand-centric stances rise above eye level, The Gratitude allows the white Christian to do something with their hands without actually distracting anyone outside of their row. Any song that involves the word "thank" is perfect for this stance. Many Touchdown Jesus stances repetitiously downgrade to this stance during the less-peppy verses, only to jump back into Touchdown Jesus for the louder (and therefore far-more-spiritual) chorus. The Gratitude is a great middle-ground stance which features a perfect combination of self-confidence and humility that all white Christians crave.
Stance: The Nonchalant
Technique: Hands in Pockets or held together behind back
Details: Power is the name of the game here. Clenching a fist behind the back shows those other sissy stances who's boss. Rocking a hand or two in pockets keeps this "silent assassin" representing the old school. As a fringe benefit, having your hand on your wallet is always a good reminder about the upcoming offering.
Stance: The Literalist
Technique: Body and words are one- a veritable worshiping mime
Details: This stance is either for the career white Christian, or the recent, on-fire convert. Not for the meek, all eyes within a 50 foot radius will be upon the literalist. This stance takes a much more literal attitude to worship lyrics and physically does whatever the lyrics call for. For instance, "We fall down, we lay our crowns at the feet of Jesus" is accompanied by literally laying down (and removing any crowns where applicable). "We stand and lift up our hands," is accompanied by literally standing and lifting up hands.
**Don't forget to take our poll listing YOUR designated worship stance**