Saturday, September 11, 2010

#95 God Things

If you are approached by a white Christian with a twinkle in his eye, brace yourself - you are about to hear of an experience that can only be described as a "God Thing." God Things will not be held a secret for long. No matter how arcane the back story, God Things demand to be shared with the nearest white Christian within ear shot.

What is the difference between "God Things" and "Good Things"? One "O." That is it.

God Things have many variations. They can apply to anything from finding spare change on the ground to miraculous conversion experiences. Interestingly enough, despite God's obvious omnipotence, God Things are not typically linked to bad things or natural disasters - that is so Old Testament. For instance, not one white Christian ever exclaimed, "Wow, that Hurricane Andrew was a total God Thing," or "Remember when Becky pooped her pants in second grade? God Thing." On the other hand, any silver lining to these clouds WILL be deemed "God Things." As in, "Remember when that family was displaced by Hurricane Andrew and a Christian family took them in? That was a God Thing." Just to recap - hurricane: not a God Thing. Good stuff that resulted from the negativity of the hurricane: God Thing.

In addition to the many variations of God Things, there are also varying degrees of God Things. Depending on the level of divine intervention involved, a white Christian may soon be telling everyone they know about a standard God Thing or a "Total God Thing."


Anonymous said...

Fred Phelps likes to describe MANY negative outcomes as "God Things". 9/11, Melbourne Bushfires, etc.

Lloyd said...

I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come on over to my blog and check it out. God's blessings. Lloyd

Paul Wilkinson said...

This is amazing. We were just talking about this subject, and then you posted this.

It must have been a God thing.

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