Saturday, September 4, 2010

#94 Hipster Christianity

White Christians will not rest until every man, woman, and child attends church on Sunday morning. The young have to go - their parents make them. People with families will be there - where else will they meet other people with kids? But the people in between, those aged 18-29, are no where to be found. After years of hand wringing, white Christians have finally found a solution: hipster churches.

These white Christians have little interest in anything that isn't relevant. Hipster churches provide a relevant alternative to boring old normal church by holding services in bars or old theaters. These services are lead by a young, independent thinking pastor with messy hair, thick rimmed glasses and skinny jeans.

All the normal hipster stuff is well documented: the cultivated coolness of wearing clothes from thrift shops and American Apparel, only listening to the right Radiohead albums and going through each day with a world weary expression on your face. However, in addition to the ability to properly critique mainstream society, white Christian hipsters must also master the appropriate hipster reaction to Christianity and Christian culture.

Being adequately rebellious against mainstream Christianity is easy. Read a little Donald Miller, N.T. Wright, or if you're really cool, G.K. Chesterton. But what about all the CCM you've come to know and love during your mainstream Christian upbringing? Not a problem: listening to your old DC Talk cassettes ironically actually enhances your white Christian hipster bonafides.


Chris said...

yes, but is is more hipster to amplify David Crowder songs with a rock edge or stay acoustic and just change the cadence into a poetry jam

Rev. Billy Bob Jimmy Pat said...

Hipster Religion? Sorry...Thats NOT Christianity. Hope you bring some nice Sun Tan lotion with you to HELL

Abraham Calvin said...

Rev. Billy Bob Jimmy Pat - what a name! I have been convicted by your thoughtful, caring, Christ-like comment. We will now dedicate our blog to your crazy version of Christianity.

happyhippierose said...

but i love david crowder. oh man, this is hilarious. and true true true.

Anonymous said... man rev. billy bob jimmy pat.
hipsters do not generally use sun tan lotion.
that's the guidos. get your facts straight, my friend!
and unlike maybe you, Christ's love isn't shallow. it sees past the thick rimmed glasses, messy clothes, and straight to the heart. and there are some hipster Christians whose hearts are closer to Christ than any old legalistic billy bob brother reverend. with all due respect, i'm going to ask you to take your cultish beliefs elsewhere, you're pushing people away from the love of Jesus more than anything else.

Andrew said...

This is such a fantastic blog, I'm sure you've seen the "Christian Hipster" YouTube video?

Anonymous said...

this is a great blog

Ibra said...

i love this blog

Hipster Kitty said...

I was into hipster churches before they became popular. Now they seem so conformist that I just go ironically.

My preacher was so much better before he was signed and I have been doing the Christmas thing since before Jesus was born.