Saturday, April 10, 2010

#73 Prayer Chains


White Christians have an insatiable need to know the goings on of all of their fellow church members. You might think that seeing everyone at church on Sundays, every week day at the Christian school next door, and at Wednesday night ministries would be enough to gather the necessary information, but white Christians need more.

Enter the prayer chain - the Facebook of non-internet using white Christians. If someone has some exciting or devastating news that simply cannot wait, they pull out the church directory and call the next person in their prayer network to get the news (and prayers) going. No, this person's number will not be in their cell phone - prayer chain phone calls can only be made using a land line.

"Pray for Bob and Mary and their daughter, Haley - she's pregnant..." the prayer chain initiator will say, adding in hushed tones: "It's out of wedlock... not that I'm judging." This gossip prayer request will spread like wild fire, stopping only when it reaches the person in the chain just ahead of Bob and Mary.

9 comments:

Terry Lee said...

so true. so. true. one of your best posts thus far. :-)

do you accept topic suggestions? after 40+ years of white christian-dom, i've got plenty!

Luther Zwingli said...

Ha- thanks, Terry. We do indeed accept suggestions. Feel free to post them on the facebook fan page or e-mail them to abrahamcalvin [at] gmail.com.

CB Young said...

Bahahahaha! Nicely done Luther!

Luther Zwingli said...

For the record... Abraham did this post.

Library Lady said...

Found your blog via Terry Lee's blog. I'm her Big Sis.

I, too, could give you plenty of fodder for your blog. I am a past victim of white, MALE Christian-dumb.

May send you some ideas...

Good work. I'm adding you to my list of blogs I follow.

jhcckkm said...

lmao....I actually saw a form for prayer requests when I was at a church this past week.....

Anonymous said...

Yup! My mother gets annoyed if I get a call before she does. (We're on different branches of the "tree".) But you can always count on the congregational prayer--which conveniently summarizes all the gossip for those in the know.

Anonymous said...

Jews and Black Baptist do the same thing...I know...I've been both!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for calling the so-called 'prayer chain' for what is often really is, the tool for spreading gossip and rumor!