Saturday, February 6, 2010

#64 Tithing

The white Christian's commitment to church goes beyond weekly church attendance to include a financial commitment known as tithing. People may bicker about whether to tithe on net or gross income, but the beauty of tithing is that once a white Christian has given his 10% he can then spend the other 90% on junk food and video games and still be a good steward.

For the white Christian pastor, preaching on the subject of tithing is fraught with peril, due to the potential conflicts of interest. While tiptoeing around the issue to avoid scaring away each and every visitor, a pastor will frequently mention the blessings that accompany tithing. This is usually construed by white Christians to mean that tithing is something like a Christian stock market, only with guaranteed returns.

Few things make a white Christian as sick to his stomach as the sight of deacons passing around the offering plates just as he realizes the checkbook has been forgotten at home. He has a few options at this point: just pass the plate quickly with his head down, drop in cash (forgoing the tax deduction?!?), or, the most clever of all, drop in an empty special offering envelope.

White Christians could avoid all this drama by simply signing up for direct deposit of their tithe. However, it appears that most white Christians trust their church with their souls but not their bank account numbers.


Library Lady said...

I make my church offering online. I symbolically "pay" it first, but it still takes 4 days to reach the church via snail mail as opposed to "real" companies who get their money dumped electronically into their account the next business day.

There may be a three-point sermon in this post, complete with the post-worship Potluck meal featuring the requisite Green Bean Casserole. :-)

Love your post!!!

Anonymous said...

I often wonder if people would tithe nearly as much or as little if it stopped being tax-deductible!