Saturday, January 16, 2010

#61 Christian Athletes


White Christians love celebrities as much as anyone, especially if there's a chance that someone famous might share their faith. They are quick to embrace anyone who mentions God in public as one of their own. Unfortunately, "Christian" celebrities usually disappoint.

The only "Christian" celebrities in existence today appear to be Jon and Kate Gosselin, Heidi and Spencer Pratt, and Jessica Simpson. Because of the constant revelations of questionable behavior by these individuals, such as Heidi's "nude witnessing" in Playboy, white Christians turn instead to Christian athletes for their role models.

The criteria for an athlete to be known throughout Christendom as a believer are not very strict - thanking God (or the "Big Guy") in post-game interview or dropping to a knee to pray after a touchdown will do it. White Christians everywhere will then cheer for this athlete and he will be featured on the cover of Sports Spectrum magazine, despite any recent reports of positive drug tests, illegitimate children, or strip club beatings. Once they're in, they're in - the athlete will remain a upstanding disciple in the minds of white Christians despite any and all indiscretions up to a double homicide.

5 comments:

Pete McM said...

I was at an Ulster rugby game once when their "Whit Christian athlete" player Andrew Trimble got sinbinned for an offence. I heard someone in the crowd remark that the ref must have got the wrong player, as he 'was a good boy' who wouldn't possibly foul

ChuckEastNashville said...

Expect the Christian athlete to thank God for his team's victory or individual performance. God must have had some money riding on that game or match.

Then there is the rapper who wins a music award. Rapper may or may not have been involved in shady deals, murder or general mayhem. But win an award and thanks be to God is in rapper's acceptance speech.

Emily Timbol said...

This should really be accompanied by a picture of Tim Tebow. Seriously.

Matt said...

I just used this Sports Spectrum article on Josh Hamilton as the main topic in the class "Christians in Sport"...something about a white Christian teaching other white Christians about another white Christian makes me smile...

NateD said...

I agree with Emily. TEBOW-update this page!