Saturday, January 2, 2010

#59 Reading Through the Bible in One Year


In addition to the normal New Year's resolutions like losing weight and getting organized, white Christians all resolve to spend more time reading the Bible each year. However, expert-level (and wannabe expert-level) white Christians take this up a notch and pledge to read the entire Bible in one calendar year. If completed, this is the biggest accomplishment a white Christian can achieve in a single year.
Those that undertake this challenge quickly find that it is more daunting than they first realized. Based on the its thickness, the Bible appears to be about the length of a John Grisham novel, but the white Christian soon discovers that due to super thin pages and tiny print, the Word is deceptively wordy.
White Christians feel plenty guilty about not reading the Bible enough in a normal year, but after stalling somewhere in Leviticus and realizing they are unlikely to get through the Torah, let alone the whole Bible by year's end, the crushing shame will cause them to resolve to set the bar a little lower the next year.

4 comments:

Paul Wilkinson said...

The One Year Bible -- a product that lives up to his name, but with the text sequence totally scrambled, is utterly useless for anything else.

julia said...

Seriously (and apparently predictably!) i'm reading through Genesis right now. And it's my brain that's scrambled.
note to self: January 9, already lowering the bar.

Anonymous said...

I never know what to say when a person that has been a Christian for many years confesses that they've never read the entire bible, let alone read it straight through.
I've known people that either pencilled in a check mark beside, used underlining or a highlighter, to mark the verses covered in each sermon or sunday school class, and when they reach a point at which all the test has been so marked, they consider it as having read the entire bible.

Thin pages and small print or not, people can find time to read the "Left Behind" series of novels in well under a year, but they've never made it all the way through the bible?

Anonymous said...

I know this post is three years old, but seriously? I know five teenagers, the younger just turning 13, who are 75% done reading through the Bible... in 90 days. They are mostly all on track and in the prophets now after only a month and a half. Really? If five teenagers can read through the Bible in 90 days, shouldn't adults be able to read through the Bible in a year?