Saturday, December 12, 2009

#56 Women's Guild Auxiliary Bazaars

Every white Christian church will have a group of old women kicking around somewhere. These women do things that support the church with things like the women's guild auxiliary bazaar.

The old women's group is filled with God-fearing senior saints- many of whom have been lifelong Christians. Unfortunately, nobody really knows what they actually do to help the church. In fact, no one under the age of 60 has any idea what the phrases "Guild," "
Auxiliary," or "Bazaar" actually mean.

These blue-haired prayer warriors might be involved in things like knitting for the kingdom, running the once prominent (currently defunct) church library, or working at church-linked thrift stores. Using context clues from bulletins, some white Christians have been able to assemble data that seems to indicate that the Auxiliary Bazaar is apparently also some type of fundraiser for the church.

If you've read all of this, and are still struggling to identify these women in your church, simply wait until the Christmas season. During advent, members of the Women's Guild Auxiliary Bazaar can be easily identified by their standardized attire. Amidst the flurry of church-related activities during the Christmas season, they will undoubtedly be wearing a red Christmas vest adorned with a festive brooch. This vest/brooch combo is the unofficial, yet universally adopted Christmas uniform of the Guild (I assume that I'm using the term "Guild" correctly, but being under the age of 60, I really have no idea).

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1 comment:

anna said...

"Blue-haired prayer warriors" is priceless!