Saturday, December 5, 2009

#55 Combating "Happy Holidays"

If you ever want to make a white Christian angry, wish him "Happy Holidays" around Christmastime. You will see all the holiday cheer drain from his face and be replaced by a scowl worthy of Ebenezer Scrooge. The idea that other religions compete with Christmas by celebrating other holidays at the same time, whether real (Hanukka) or made up (Kwanzaa), really extinguishes the white Christian's Yule log.

The politically correct are more comfortable with the all inclusive "Happy Holidays," believing that this greeting will please everyone, Jews and Gentiles alike. They are wrong. If you own a store or restaurant, you would be wise to instruct your employees not to wish your customers a happy anything, lest large swaths of the American public boycott your place of business for using the wrong holiday greeting.

During the Christmas season, the average white Christian will be sent dozens of emails daily encouraging her to sign a petition or join a Facebook group related to "keeping Christ in Christmas" or reminding all that "Jesus is the reason for the season." This is the best way white Christians know to beat back the heathen hordes encroaching on their favorite time of year.

This conflict could all be avoided if everyone followed the example of 'N Sync from their Christmas album. After Gary Coleman enlists the boy band to take over for Santa on Christmas Eve, they proceed to wish us all "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays."

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11 comments:

Ann Martin Photography BLOG said...

Life has become a political minefield. This was an insightful article. I never thought it made Christians mad if they were wished a Happy Holiday. Now I know better.

Rai said...

My Mother and I were just talking about this, and our pastor advocates "Merry Christmas" over "Happy Holidays" at least once every Christmas season, to thunderous white applause. :-)
Let's just say what we all want to say, people, and take it all in the spirit that it is meant.
Happy ChristmaHannuKwanzzamadan!

Jay Godse said...

Thank you for the posting Abraham. And a Happy Festivus from the rest of us.

All American Packaging said...

Nice to see that Christmas is in your mind already. I love Christmas and sometimes I wish that it was Christmas all year.

Catholic interloper said...

I think the white Christians happen to be right about this one.

Abraham Calvin said...

As a white Christian, I agree wholeheartedly! Christmas is a national holiday, after all. The only exception, in my mind, is if you are greeting someone you know is Jewish, Muslim, etc.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you've heard "It's called Christmas with a Capital C," but we sang it, not once, but three times this morning at church. I use the word "sing" liberally, because it was mainly the entire congregation staring at the lyrics dumbfounded, with a few mumbling the words. The choir director was singing with gusto at the front of the church, though! She said it's important that we tell everyone "Merry Christmas," regardless of their religion, because "we need to stand up for what we believe in!"

Harry said...

I have never understood the perceived threat that the phrases Seasons Greetings, or Happy Holidays can have on the average Christian. Just because other religions happen to have holidays, that happen to coincide with the season of Christmas, doesn't make make anyone less Christian because they exist, all because one would want to wish everyone a happy holidays in a sweeping all inclusive gesture. Do religions really want to get into a contest for validity? Because, that's just dumb.
Word verification, what is a 'cullubca'?

Anonymous said...

Arthur said . . .

Merry ChristMass and Happy HolyDays to one and all whatever they or do not believe. Christ's teaching were about peace, love, and respect for all. Not bad choices whatever one cares to or not to believe. :)

Merry ChristMass !

Michael said...

Christmas: a watered down version of "Christ's Mass." Xmas: another abbreviation of Christ's Mass (X=first letter for Christ's name in ancient [or koine] Greek). Both of these are equal in my mind, and sometimes I think Xmas is actually more Christian (perhaps it's just me--of course I've read the New Testament in greek). Anyway, my point is that both are abbreviations. Holidays is an abbreviation for "Holy Days," and I think it is rather nice, when viewed in that context. The real problem here is people who like to get others all stirred up over silly semantic arguments. That's the enemy's way of trying to exert control--if our minds are occupied with trivial things, then they won't be occupied with glorious things.

Carrie said...

Until I started hearing alot of fuss about "Happy Holidays" a couple of years ago, I had always thought it was just a shortened way of saying "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" :)

On a different note, I think we should be concerned that the vast majority of the country is not celebrating the same Christmas that we (as Christians) are. I think the whole argument about "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" is a distraction from the real problem. You can't expect a country of people who don't believe in Jesus to understand the true meaning of Christmas, so even if they do say "Merry Christmas" to you as you leave the store, what they are meaning is "Have fun with your family and I hope you get everything you want for Christmas" anyway. Let's focus on the bigger issue.