Saturday, November 21, 2009

#53 Forgetting to Silence Cell Phones in Church

Showing up late to church used to be the ultimate embarrassment to white Christians, but the distractingly loud praise team diverts attention to the late-comers in the "come as you are/whenever you want**" mode of worship, there is very little that actually embarrasses today's white Christians... other than forgetting to silence cell phones in church.

Let's be honest, white Christians lag a little bit in the technology department. But that doesn't prevent them from exploring the wonders of technology... without really knowing how to use it.

Just like all other human beings, white Christians love their cell phones... but an inordinate percentage of the white Christian population unfortunately doesn't know how to silence them. At a crucial point in every church service, a cell phone WILL ring. Unfortunately for all involved, not only will the cell phone ring, but it will do so at a rapidly increasing volume to the annoyance of all in the sanctuary other than (apparently) the owner of said cellular telephone.

While the expert level white Christians may have ring tones from popular songs currently playing on Christian Radio stations, more than likely, something like the "Mexican Hat Dance" will interrupt the most spiritually charged moment of the worship service.

**white christian fun fact: "Come / whenever you want / to worship" is a little-known, infrequently used verse in the popular white Christian power ballad "Come, Now is the Time to Worship." Try these alternate lyrics the next time this song is rocked at your church!

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4 comments:

Luther Zwingli said...

editor's note: for copyright purposes, the picture of the cell phone that we used is actually the Hollyrolla Przr, not the Motorolla Rzr as some people may believe.

Packaging USA said...

Our church has a sign at the entrance that says "NO CELL PHONES", which means not just turning them off, no cell phones AT ALL. I've heard a phone ring there once, during Consecration and I was shocked. I mean, even if you can't figure that out on your own, there is a huge sign at the door. C'mon people.

Anonymous said...

if you ven bring your cell phone in then you are aready distracted. Just leave it in the car.

Anonymous said...

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE WHITE CHRISTIANS??????????