#46 Turning Everything Into a Ministry

As a general rule, if white Christians enjoy something, they will turn it into a ministry. White Christians reason that if an activity if enjoyable, turning said activity into a ministry can only enhance it. Coffee? Coffee themed ministries like Coffee Break. Softball? Church softball league.

White non-Christians often coordinate themselves in a similar fashion, only to have their organized-fun groups instantly copied by white Christians. Boy/Girl Scouts have an endless number of Christian alternatives, from the Cadets to the Frontier Girls. Instead of enjoying knitting at a "Stitch and Bitch," white Christian women can take part in knitting groups like "Knit Together" or "Prayer Knit." Not only do the Christian knitting groups not have bad words in their names, women also don't feel pressured to complain about their spouse and kids.

There is now a church league for every sport imaginable. White Christian churches will assemble a team comprised of the most athletic members of the congregation, plus a few ringers people to witness to from outside the church. After a pre-game prayer, the games will usually devolve into dirty play, swearing, fighting and theological trash talk. For example: "That at bat sure was evidence for total depravity" or "God predestined that you will miss this shot."

When an enjoyable activity is turned into a ministry, white Christians find the activity all the more gratifying because they can have fun and serve God at the same time. In addition, it's much easier for white Christians to get away from any responsibilities at home when their Christian paint ball league has attained equal ecclesiastical status to small group or Sunday school.