Saturday, September 26, 2009

#45 Baptizing With Water From the Jordan River

Baptism is a sign and seal of God's covenantal relationship between Himself and His people. For most white Christian churches, baptism reigns over the non-denominational church's Dedication (a.k.a Baptism 2.0: "all the bless without the mess"). For the churches that go the full nine yards to infant baptism, babies bring an extra level of cuteness to this significant sacrament.

And yet... this special moment is made just a
little more holy when its done with water from the Jordan River. After all, Jesus himself was baptized in this body of water... so it certainly beats that tap water from the church basement that those other mediocre munchkins get sprinkled with.

Furthermore, the Jordan River water's presence in the baptismal bowl grants the proud parents the extra feather in their cap of allowing them to explain the back story of
how this particular vial of Jordan's finest made the trek from the middle east to the middle of the church platform. Ideally, the parents can use the Jordan river water discussion as a spring-board into conversations about their recent trip to Israel. If all goes according to plan, this might even lead to a photo slideshow at the post-baptism family/friend get-together!

Unfortunately, not every parent can make this dream a reality. For those parents who desire to have the increased holiness of the Jordan River water baptism, but are without the financial means to make the pilgrimage to personally pilfer some of that pristine Jordan purity, there's an
entire industry of purchasable Jordan River water at their fingertips.

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3 comments:

Amber said...

This made me smile. I can't relate to it, being LDS, but the self-poking teasing just touched the same funny bone that Stuff White People Like does. Thank you for posting such consistently funny stuff so consistently: I am in SWPL withdrawal, and you're helping me through it.

Luther Zwingli said...

Thanks, Amber. Glad to fill the void of the infrequent SWPL posts. We're going through withdrawal as well- keep checking back on Saturday night at 11:59.

Anonymous said...

the river jordan, visited as a non christian. was underwhelmed. its pretty small...almost just a creek down the back of someones farm. super brown and muddy, can't say i'd be stoked to be carting it through customs at the airport,parasites much?