Saturday, September 19, 2009

#44 Megachurches


White Christians love to be in community with fellow believers, especially on Sunday morning. The explosion in popularity of megachurches like Willow Creek , Mars Hill , and Lakewood enables white Christians to be in community without anyone actually noticing them.

Megachurches lure in white Christians by the thousands with amazing praise bands and dynamic pastors who deliver engaging sermons. However, smaller white Christian churches, disheartened by the loss of members to these megachurches, contend that it is unfair to make attending church an enjoyable experience.

Why would a white Christian want to sit among people they have a personal relationship with and listen to a sermon from some no name pastor when they could be squinting to see a celebrity pastor from nosebleed seating in a 40,000 seat arena? The downsides of such sizable sanctuaries are soon forgotten when it comes time for the donut/bagel/coffee race and the kiss-cam on the JumboTron during the offering.

If your bulletin contains a picture of the winning anthropomorphic breakfast food, you can even cash it in at the megachurch cafe. You might think that a having a restaurant onsite could lead to obesity, but never fear, the white Christians easily burn off these extra calories in the onsite gym or during their two mile walk to their car in the outer reaches of the parking lot.

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4 comments:

Czar said...

Unfortunately megachurches have just furthered the influence of commercialism in today's spirituality, once again showing us that religion in America has nothing to do with one's self, and everything to do with corporations, profits, and politics.

Naveen kumar said...

nice site u got here ... interesting satirical approach

Bogdan said...

MarsHill is not a mega church to be included in your article.

Luther Zwingli said...

weekly attendance of 7,500... sounds pretty mega to me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mars_Hill_Church