Saturday, August 29, 2009

#41 Skipping Church

Alright, we're up to post 41. Now that we've built up a little bit of a relationship, dear reader, we're going to let you in on a little secret. We're not even sure if we're supposed be telling you this... but the fact is that white Christians secretly like skipping church.

Don't get us wrong- white Christians love going to
Church. They love it. But they occasionally take "day of rest" far too literally- they rest for an entire day.

Not that we condone this behavior... but the fact is that white Christians like to play "holy hooky." With the contemporary service
beginning at 11:00 AM, there's very little excuse for sleeping in, but white Christians still find a way to roll this one out.

For new parents, babies represent a giggling, drooling, adorable church-skipping excuse. "The service is just right in the middle of my son's morning nap- and if you throw him off of his schedule- look out!" is an all too common line of church-skipping rationale for new parents.

White Christians hold regular church attendance as a vital to their faith, which makes their enjoyment of skipping all the more perplexing. White Christians who skip church have found a clever compromise that enables them encounter both their love of church, and their love of skipping church: They attend the Church of the Divine Comforter with Reverend Sheets. This church offers services every Sunday, though the sermons have been known to put people to sleep.


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14 comments:

TaiPod said...

At my White Christian College, we used to call it "attending Bedside Baptist" and listening to "Pastor Pillow."

Scott said...

Bedside Baptist is especially popular on college campuses. Common excuses for skipping include homework, lack of ride, or simply "a busy week". New found college freedom really means freedom to enjoy sabbath rest in my twin bed.

Some Dude said...

No, I don't secretly enjoy skipping church. I openly and unabashedly enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

one can't forget rollover reformed.

Andrew said...

Forget skipping church, I'm still struggling to discern that scandalous picture attached to this post.

Shelley said...

Hilarious. I skipped church today!

Anonymous said...

scandalous picture? I'd call it a little bit of heaven. No scandal there!! :)

suz said...

love this. and sometimes wish I took more advantage of roll over reformed back in the day.

Paul Wilkinson said...

I don't consider the picture scandalous, I just think that if our bedroom looked like that we'd probably skip a lot more Sunday morning services.

Does this explain the whole Saturday night service trend?

jennifer said...

I missed... OK, skipped church Sunday and let my family attend without me. But the rules around here are "She who plays hooky from church has an AWESOME meal waiting for the faithful."

Anonymous said...

our first child was brought into being on a morning when we decided to skip church. He was either conceived at 830, 930 or 1015... not sure which.... ;)

Anonymous said...

dont forget st. mattress

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