The volunteer church maintenance crew appreciates the pragmatic purchase of golf pencils because they're extremely low maintenance. It is a little-known fact that most white Christian church golf pencils were purchased, sharpened, and placed in those little holes during the Nixon administration.
The golf pencil's intended purpose is for one of two options:
- For visitors filling out their information cards.
- Taking sermon notes in the margins of the bulletin. Expert level white Christians will take notes directly in their personal Bible.
- Inevitably, a child in the church will draw designs on the side of the Bible pages in order to rapidly leaf through the edge of the Bible like an animation booklet.
- All too commonly, these pencils are used for writing the emergency "Oops-I-forgot-the-check-at-home-and-I-don't-want-to-be-the-only-one-in-my-row-to-not-place-anything-in-the-basket," check.