Saturday, July 11, 2009

#34 Non-Traditional Biblical Names

White Christians consult the Bible for all of life's decisions, so it follows that they will take comfort in choosing Biblical names for their children. Church nurseries have been full of kids named Peter, John, Sarah and Rachel for centuries.

White Christians are often torn between following the pull of secular society while staying true to the traditions of their upbringing. This conflict comes into play in naming children, as celebrities have popularized very strange baby names. People magazine is the white Christian's favorite reading material, after the Bible, so it should be no surprise that they feel compelled to match the weirdness of "Apple," "Suri," or "Moon Unit."

White Christians have found that they can take part in this trend while staying true to their background by choosing uncommon Biblical names for their children, giving them a desired odd meets God vibe. While names like Moses or Isaiah do the trick, this isn't quite good enough for expert-level white Christians. These white Christians will select names like Gideon, Adinah, or Boaz, which are both non-traditional and demonstrate a superior knowledge of the Bible that goes far beyond the well known Bible stories.

Atheists will most likely soon join in on this trend as well, except they will name their children after non-traditional Biblical villains such as Jezebel, Goliath, Herod or Nebuchadnezzar.

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11 comments:

Ralph M. Petersen-Always Right; Sometimes Wrong! said...

This is a true story. I know a woman who named her daughter Corinthia.

Obviously she had no understanding that the Church at Corinth was riddled with scandal, immorality, and worldliness.

victoriac said...

What a great post! My husband and I are in hysterics about it as our new baby boy is named Gideon. Nice to be recognized as "Expert-level". Ha!! I am LOVING this blog!

Luther Zwingli said...

What about Nevaeh (Heaven spelled backwards)? This name actually started with Christians, and is now popular in secular circles too... a rare occurrence!

Lisa-Anne said...

We named our baby Blaze, because we're beyond expert-level, we're uber-hip, hyper-spiritual level Christians! haha! :) Just the right level of edgy spirituality ;)

TaiPod said...

Ha! We are expecting our second white christian baby; her name will be Adelaide. But if the baby had turned out to be a boy, my husband was lobbying pretty hard for Onesemus, Ehud, or Gideon.

Jon said...

No joke my Youth Pastor (also something White Christians like) named his kid Jabin. Apparently Jabin was one of the evil Kings of Israel...

kake79 said...

I don't see any place else to put this. I have a couple of suggestions for future posts:

1. Adoption (especially foreign)
2. Fasting

David Neff said...

I didn't give my daughters biblical names, but if I had it to do over, I'm thinking Abishag would be a good choice.

Luther Zwingli said...

Nice. Admittedly, I actually had to google Abishag- great Biblical knowledge, David.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha, our son is named Asher! My husband admitted it gives him a slight feeling of superiority when other Christians don't realize Asher was one of the tribes of Israel.

Anonymous said...

Although the name Hezekiah was tempting - we decided to go with the name Bob for our now 4-year old. It's great - it seems to baffle everyone, white, christian, non-white, non-christian and anywhere in between. He is daddy's little conversation piece.