Saturday, April 18, 2009

#22 Gossip

Don't tell anyone- we're not supposed to say anything, but we have it on very good authority that white Christians like to gossip.

Again, this is just a rumor- something that we heard from a source that we can't reveal. So anyway, it goes like this: supposedly, white Christians like being in communities small enough that they're all up in each other's business.

While modern society is said to be in the "information age," white Christians have been in the information business for years. Scientists estimate that, by the year 2138, computer networks will finally be fast enough to transmit information at as rapid of a rate as white Christians can "phone-whisper."

If you're a member of a white Christian church, there are definite pros and cons to this enjoyment of gossip. On the plus side, white Christians care enough about your life to want to spread the good news of your firstborn son. On the negative side, everyone probably knows how well your son's circumcision went.

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Anonymous said...

It's not technically gossip during prayer request time.

Luther Zwingli said...

Good call, Anonymous! This is something for which white Christians are famous:

"Does anyone have any prayer requests?"

"Yeah, be with Jim, and the whole situation."

"What situation?"

"Oh, you didn't hear? Jim lost his job."

anna said...

i get all of my local news during the congregational prayer

Anonymous said...

And we can't forget to mention the ever popular "I'm not really gossiping" trump card, which clears it's repeater from all sense of guilt for actually gossiping - I'm just telling you this so you can pray for him.

Anonymous said...

"prossip" - The technical term for the fine balance of prayer and gossip

Luther Zwingli said...

I love it! We've officially coined a white Christian phrase: "Prossip."

Nicely done, anonymous.

Scanfam said...

prayer chain = gossip chain.

Anonymous said...

Kidding aside, this is something we should admit we do, and stop doing it.

(Love the site)

Anonymous said...

I love it. I saw the title of this post and knew immediately that the "Gossip" must be a reference to the prayer request phenomenon...I am glad that everyone else has noticed this.

That said- I have always hated prayer request time for that reason and I think corporate prayer is annoying and boring.