These popular versions got rid of the thee's and thou's long ago, but in 1993, Eugene H. Peterson recognized that they were not nearly hip enough for the young people of the day. Complete sentences? No contractions? Proper grammar? No references to Mountain Dew or the X-Games? Clearly something had to change.
After abandoning his work on a pig-latin Bible, Peterson wrote the Message, a version that is, like, way more relevant. Why would you want to read some boring text like "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"? The Message takes this tired old verse and makes it relevant for today: "Then Jesus totally said, 'It's cool if you're having a really crappy day. The crappier your life is, the sweeter God's crib will be when you get there.'"
However, today's young white Christian has already begun to tire of the Message. In the age of texting, Twitter, and Facebook, white Christians will soon demand a version of the Bible for a new generation, a version replete with LOL's, status updates, and an RSS feed so the author can constantly update it with new slang and new meaning in order to keep up with the times.