Saturday, March 7, 2009

#16 Faith-Themed Tattoos

Nothing quite says "X-treme Faith" to the white Christian like an awesome faith-themed tattoo. That's right- "X-treme," not "Extreme." Referring to extreme things without using proper spelling makes them more extreme.

Like every white person, white Christians enjoy body art. Tattoos allow white Christians that are "in creation" (outdoors) in warm weather to engage in ripped bod, flesh-revealing ministry.

The tattoo connoisseur will notice two distinct differences between standard tats and white Christian tats:

1) The white Christian tattoo
will include a cross, Jesus fish, or Bible verse reference... this is non-negotiable.

2) While non-Christians enjoy Chinese symbols and images as part of their
tattoos, white Christians prefer symbols that are Hebrew or Greek. Hebrew or Greek imagery allows for the same "old world" look and feel as Chinese tats, while remaining relatively more Biblical... even if the white Christian has no idea what the Hebrew or Greek symbols mean.

Curious onlookers observing white Christian
tattoos are encouraged to approach the body palate and ask about the meaning behind the tattoo symbolism. However, in approaching a tattooed white Christian, be forewarned: if a verse-reference tattoo contains ONLY the passage (for example, "Psalm 29:11"), and not the actual text of the verse, don't expect this white Christian to know what the verse says, as he/she has not memorized it. The fact that the verse is permanently embedded in the skin of the white Christian is significant enough- there is no memorization necessary. This is a rare variety of taking in scripture through osmosis- just because the verse is on the skin does not mean that it's in the brain.

For other white Christians, it's best to just put the entire verse on their body... yikes.





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10 comments:

Abraham Calvin said...

Does that last tattoo still qualify as a "tramp stamp"?

Love may be patient and kind, but it won't prevent the future curving and stretching of this tattoo as the canvas widens.

Aubrey said...

Oh my...it does seem strange to have a Christian tramp stamp.

It's hilarious the number of extreme Christian tattoos I find at my church.

Heather said...

I would just like to say, that although I found this fairly entertaining, and I must admit, your statements sounded shockingly intelligent...I am a white Christian with four tattoos, none of which include a cross, a Jesus fish, or a Bible verse reference. I also don't have any Hebrew or Greek symbols, but don't give up hope. I'm only 20, I have plenty of time to fulfill your stereotypical idea. :)

Luther Zwingli said...

white Christian... four tattoos... NO cross/fish/verse?

So what are the tats of?

Also, the fact that you have four tats proves a point that didn't make it into the post... tats are addictive to white Christians. If you get one, you WILL get more than one. It's similar to white Christians and bumper stickers.

Anonymous said...

I would say that tats are addictive to anyone- white, blue, green etc. non-christians/ christians :) if you get one, you will most likely get another...

ChuckEastNashville said...

I can't find "place hands here" anywhere in that scripture tattoo.

Anonymous said...

I know, I would stare at that verse very hard, it would definitely hold my attention.

jonno965 said...

Love stretches...

MaggieF99 said...

But imagine having a punctuation mistake forever embedded somewhere upon your person ! "There is no limit to it's faith" NO NO NO "There is no apostrophe in its faith" Now there's a more accurate observation for us white pedantic Christians.

I am thrilled to find American Christians can have the same sense of humo(u)r as this British white Christian. You do irony ! Smiley faces all round

Adam Copeland said...

Funny stuff. Actually, there's a meme called "My Faith, My Tattoo" going around that asks Christians 7 questions about their tattoo and their faith and if they relate. For the list and some folks (very interesting) answers, go to:

http://www.adamjcopeland.com/2010/09/12/meme-my-faith-my-tattoo/