Saturday, December 27, 2008

#6 Pretending There's a Santa Claus

While it is definitely true that white Christians love sound doctrine, they love to celebrate the Christmas season even more. This is why perfectly rational white Christians are blinded by the tinsel of "the Season", and participate in a full-on buy-in of the pro-Santa agenda.

White Christians force their children to sit on Santa's lap whether they like it or not. White Christian children are instinctively hesitant to embrace such a ludicrous concept- they hate Santa (and who wouldn't?). But with the gradual erosion of their Santa hatred (accelerated by the "belief catalyst" of seemingly unlimited future presents) young children learn to "play nice" with this fat, annual sugar daddy.

White Christians tell their children that Santa has come to give them presents, even though they drove home from the children's Christmas program in a vehicle with a bumper sticker that reads "Jesus is the Reason for the Season."

Some white Christians will warn against the dangers of lying to children about imaginary figures, and that "Santa" is dangerously close to "Satan," but these fringe white Christians are brushed aside as being "Scrooges." Young white Christians inevitably come to the realization that their parents have been lying to them about Santa and may also begin to wonder about a character who supposedly healed the sick and walked on water. While this conversation with their children may be quite awkward, it is easily outweighed by the high the white Christian parents got years ago from taking their child to see Santa.


Abraham Calvin said...

This post was actually written by Luther. I'm not sure how I got credit for that one.

Anonymous said...

Cute kid! Probably traumatized for life.

Now I'm traumatized thinking I may be related to Luther.

Dustin Winebrenner said...

I never bought into Santa. My sound Christian upbringing taught me miracles = real, magic = fake. Santa was firmly in the "magic" category, and I recognized the fiction.

Angela said...

I love it. I've been saying this for years. One of my life's greatest pleasures was when my (then) four year old saw a picture of Santa and asked "What is that?"

audrey said...

"fat, annual sugar-daddy" = best line. ever.